I feel trapped


I feel trapped

Everything is just coming down on me at once. My whole life in Ohio was uprooted (by choice) to move down to Florida with my parents.

Before, I was still struggling to get by with my fiance and daughter. Being the only working parent in our household was stressful, and I lost all my free time to do my hobbies such as League of Legends or Magic the Gathering with my friends. Losing my hobbies and friends had made me resort to poker for my escape. I didn't need to be online with friends when they are (I could rarely schedule time to play games with them working all the time), and I didn't need to take a day off of work in the week to play magic (could only play Fridays when I would normally work). I could just go at 2 am when everyone is sleeping. I still want to go play every day. Seeing new people, the strategy of the game, and the occasional extra money is all a relief of the stress of a manual labor job. It isn't sustainable though. I don't have the income to support it and the losses were rough. I would never choose to play poker over feed my family or pay the bills, things were always paid, but our expendable money all went to it. So tired of not having any extra money and tired of working 60-75 hours a week delivering and installing appliances we all moved to Florida with my parents.

I'm in a room in the back of the house with my fiance and my daughter has her own room. We had $0 to our name when we moved down, we used everything on gas, hotels, and a trailer for the move. I found a job doing appliances the second day I was here. My fiance had re-applied at disney before we came down and has her job there now. About 8 weeks into all of this we still aren't able to save any money living with them. We live an hour away from our jobs and only have one car that isnt great on gas. It cost us almost $600/mo just to drive into work for gas and tolls. That was almost our rent payment in Ohio. Not to mention now we have to pay for a storage unit every month for our things until we get our own place. Writing all of this out helps me.

Fast forward to a week ago. I don't know if it is the change of environment or dumb luck but I can't stop getting sick. I never got sick in Ohio, maybe once or twice a year. Since I've been here I've only had maybe a week of 100% healthy days. Otherwise, I'm vomiting and can't function. Having to take a day off about once a week was not good to my employer so they let me go. Now I am jobless. I have about half a paycheck left until we are broke again. My fiance still works but she's not really bringing in any sort of livable income. Maybe $150/week to pay for simple bills and groceries.

I'm not sure where to go from here. I've been hopelessly looking for jobs. Everything with a livable wage near me requires a degree. My one trade skill is very niche and the place I was fired from is the only place hiring here. I'm about to get a part time job at a fast food place just to help in the mean time but I don't see a future plan. What's next? I save up some money and then what? I cant move out on 2 part time salaries. We would be in the same situation as Ohio or worse. I left all my friends in Ohio. I have no one to talk to except my fiance who is working 14 hour shifts so she is always stressed. She hates my parents so there is always tension in the house. I want to work locally for now but our plan was to be in Orlando in a couple months. Now it seems it's never going to happen. I don't know where I want to pursue a career or what to do for work. I feel like I have no purpose other than to make money for my family, which now I cant even do. I'm letting everyone down, my fiance, my daughter, my parents. I'm letting myself down. I can't even make myself happy anymore. I don't even try, I just want my fiance and daughter happy.


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