[30M] [32M] Can/should I save my friend from being a Grandma’s Boy, or do I just have to let him live his life?


[30M] [32M] Can/should I save my friend from being a Grandma’s Boy, or do I just have to let him live his life?

He's 32 years old, been living at home his whole life, and hasn't had a job in maybe 6 or 7 years. He had a somewhat traumatic childhood, lost his mother young to drugs, alcoholic dad, but he was fortunate enough to grow up and still live in middle class suburbia with his grandparents.

For almost the entirety of the last decade he's struggled with very bad alcoholism. He has crippling anxiety that paralyzes him in many ways, the most significant of which is he won't drive because of a car accident when he was young. Except down the street to buy cigarettes? He never wants to leave the house to go anywhere, like going to Wal-Mart is going to give him a panic attack, and just uses the excuse of he's broke so of course he can't do anything.

In the past 6 months he's been able to find sobriety through smoking weed at night. I think it's about time he gets a fucking job, but his grand idea for life is to smoke weed, watch youtube videos about growing weed and enlightenment, and sell $10k of equipment his grandma bought him for another business to start growing.

I guess it could work. It was recently legalized and if he wants to move in on that industry I'm all for entrepreneurship. But what he doesn't understand is that even if he starts growing and selling he has no life skills. I feel he needs the responsibility of a job and actual work ethic beyond helping his grandma with chores around the house. I honestly think ultimately his "enlightenment" isn't sustainable and he's going to run out of steam and relapse without the structure of a job.

But I don't even know if it's even worth it to attempt to have the conversation. He's so far gone recently he said to me, "I don't know why you make it so hard on yourself trying to pay rent" when I'm talking about how much I'm working right now to float my business and my bills.

Should I just let him be? Is where he's at OK given what he's going through? I honestly haven idea what to think.

tl;dr: Friend is recovering alcoholic, 6 months sober, 32 and lives with his grandma, wants to smoke/grow weed and watch youtube videos as a career path. Is this OK?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s